Wednesday, October 31, 2018

A Life lesson For A Curly Girl

There are so many things in my life I can't control right now... as hard as I try ha! So many unknowns and what ifs that I won't even allow myself to think about them for long or I'd probably go mad! And I'm not trying to "vague-book" over here. But if I went down the list with you, we would be here awhile. I worry about the future a lot though, I always have. Since I can remember I have made "to-do" lists not just of my daily tasks but of my future plans and from those lists I make more lists! Sometimes I'm so busy making those lists that I don't actually do anything on them.  And on one hand, doing that soothes my anxiety and need to control things in real life. Yet on the other, it gives me anxiety when I see I haven't done anything about them! It's quite a vicious cycle if you ask me. 
And, I think God gave me curly hair as a constant reminder that I just need to trust Him and everything will turn out the way He meant it to be. It may sound absolutely absurd to you. But it just makes sense to me!
You cannot control curly hair. You can't. I have tried!! 
If you follow me on Instagram you know I was having a minor meltdown about my hair in my stories this morning, like a crazy person!!! 
I was on the verge of tears over it when I started getting all these messages from women who felt my pain and told me I wasn't alone. And I started to cry. And not over my hair but because I  felt really thankful for all the people I've met on this curly journey, not just because they were assuring me I wasn't really crazy but because I feel understood. And then for a minute, I felt at peace. I let go of this need to control my hair and decided to stop worrying about it! 
What I've learned in the last couple of months is that no you cannot control your hair. But you can heal it, you can nurture it daily and eventually you build a relationship with it and as you continue to nourish it one day you'll be at peace with it, that's the goal anyway. 
It reminded me of my "Pumpkin Spice isn't so nice" post where I said, Stop expecting and start accepting!! 
I feel like in a lot of ways that need to control all the things in my life will always be there, but if I can just stop and breathe for a minute, accept the fact I can't control all the things and remember that God made no mistakes when he made me and gave me curly hair. Then I can feel that peace I felt today and trust that he won't let me down with my future. I know he has a plan and I just need to be patient! And continue to nurture my mind, body, soul and yes hair. Acknowledge the things I can't control. Allow them to exist, let them have a place in my life even until I can let go and feel at peace.

Hope you all have a fabulous day and a Happy Halloween.Thought I'd share some costumes from over the years.
Mary Poppins
MJ and Billy Jean

Holly Golightly 1
Holly Golightly 2
La Calavera Catrina

Roller Derby Chick and Thing 2


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